This week, a friend of mine is asking questions of me in an attempt to understand why I promote Fat Acceptance. This has been my first attempt at teaching Fat Acceptance 101, so I've thrown in everything, including the kitchen sink. I have even quantified my personal habits and choices in an attempt to prove that my lifestyle is healthy.
The response has been an attempt to show the ways in which I am ignorant, poorly informed, and delusional about nutrition and exercise because it is "impossible" for a "morbidly obese" person to be healthy. I have spent a lifetime quantifying every thing that enters my mouth and every form of physical activity I engage in from standing instead of sitting to structured exercise in fitness classes. There are many things I may be accused of in this life, but dishonesty, delusion, and ignorance are not among them.
I have had multiple doctors literally yell at me until I cried because they believed that my food and activity logs were fabricated because it was "impossible" for someone to be that conscientious and still be fat. I had bruises on my arms for weeks after a doctor tried to prove that my home blood pressure monitor was incorrect, bruises from where he grabbed each arm and bruises from the over inflated cuff. I have white coat hypertension, so I was put on blood pressure medication, which made me hypotensive. When I stopped taking the medication, I had to track my blood pressure at home in order to prove that it wasn't a mistake to stop. My blood pressure is still fine. I have anxiety attacks when I go to the doctor now.
My personal habits are not a matter for debate or discussion with anybody from my doctor to my friends to any stranger on the street who wants to believe that I live an unhealthy lifestyle because of the size of my body. I support Fat Acceptance because I deserve to be treated with respect for no other reason than because I'm a human being. I deserve to be treated with respect regardless if my fat is the result of personal choice or completely beyond my control. I deserve to be treated with respect whether I am healthy or my fat is slowly killing me. I deserve to be treated with respect, period.
I do not owe anybody an explanation, justification, or apology for my personal habits and choices, especially not as a down payment on their respect.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
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6 comments:
My apologies if this a duplicate comment, but it didn't seem to go through the first time.
As always, thank you for this post. I agree with so much of what you say, but the resistance we get to promoting fat acceptance makes me wonder if people's minds can really be changed. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a pessimist because I think its always possible--and necessary--to shape and educate the next generation. Sometimes it seems with adults, however, you either have it in you to respect others despite learned biases or you don't. My biases when it comes to fat run against much of society's so fat acceptance comes easy for me. Yet I feel fortunate that I think I was raised with an inner voice that encourages me to treat others with respect even when I might have some prejudice. In any case, I have always been more distressed by a fat person's lack of self-acceptance than with what thin people think, and this is probably something of a cop out. Yet, as I said, sometimes I'm very skeptical about people's ability to change the way they think without the change coming from within. Again, thanks for another very thought-provoking post.
Also, I can sympathize with you about the white coat hypertension situation. Some doctors get it, but I've had ones who didn't and its a nightmare.
I don't think your comment went through the first time because I only got notification for this comment. Thank you for your comment!
I think changability depends more upon a person's values than upon age or outside information. I was quite vocal about the inconveniences of accessibility laws until I learned why all of the changes needed to be made to public buildings. I was a huge jerk towards smokers until I realized that they have the same right to personal choice that I have. (They have the same limitations on their personal choices when those choices hinder another person's right to choice, like when smoking in a public place hinders an asthmatic's right to choose to breathe.)
I am willing to change my negative attitudes when I am introduced to information that shows me how negative those attitudes are. All people are introduced to such information through other people. I write for the people who are willing to take the time to understand my position, regardless of what they choose to believe. As long as they are willing to be respectful, we can have a productive dialogue, even if we choose to agree to disagree. The people who don't care and just want to stir the pot can go for a hike. The exercise will clear their heads ;)
I say AMEN Sister
Thanks for responding to my comment. I think I'm lucky in that I share your values in being willing to treat others with respect when I realize I've needed to be educated. What resonates with me is when you said "the people who are willing to take the time to understand [your] position." I think people are less willing to do that than I wish , but I'm grateful to you for taking the time to give people something to think about when they're seeking understanding.
I'm a reader of your blog as of lately, and I just want to say thank you so much. You've become a great source of inspiration for me.
Thank you, Michelle!
I have a much harder time being confident in my writing than I do in being confident in my body. I'm glad that finding my confidence in both is able to inspire others. That's why I started this blog :)
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